Saturday, August 20, 2011

It is Saturday afternoon and Kim and I just returned home after attending a parenting conference with Paul Tripp, a well known author and speaker, at our church. The conference was two hours last night and three hours this morning. Our church had been advertising this conference in the community for months and very honestly i was not planning to attend. Kim was signed up to go and she wanted me to go with her but because I don't like going anywhere I kept putting it off. Kim was wonderful and didn't nag me and just last week I decided I was going to attend but my motive honestly was to please her, which is not a bad thing but God used it in my life. When I told Kim I was going to attend she didn't ask me why or say "that's alright I know you don't really want to go", or something like that; she just got up went to her computer and with great joy signed me up. Does this woman know me or what!

Well Friday was another difficult tiring day and when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was go to a parenting conference. Let's face it, my children are over forty years old and all the parenting conferences in the world aren't going to undo the parenting mistakes I made during their informative years. My grandchildren, ranging in age from twenties to early teens are even past the informative years and beside that, no one really asks for my opinions because they don't really want to hear what Godly wisdom I have acquired over the years. My great grandchildren are young enough to start being taught Godly parenting but their parents, my grandchildren, have to believe in those Godly principles. Therefore I thought, why should I disrupt my quiet Friday evening and go to a parenting conference? Read on.

I decided to go because I said I would and that is the right thing to do and I believe it was God's prompting. I am so thankful that I followed His prompting. I could write about my parenting failures, but I have already confessed that to my children and God. My girls are great adults and we have a wonderful relationship and both have professed Jesus as their Savior but they are lacking the Godly fatherly input they should have gotten from me during their early years. What I learned this weekend was not necessarily new to me but it was a reminder of how important the job of parenting really is. We invited our daughter and two grandchildren who are parents of young ones to come to the conference but they did not attend. They missed out on a huge blessing.

One of my biggest disappointments is not seeing my children or grandchildren show any desire for the things of God. Instead they think the worlds ways are the right ways or at least OK ways. One of the things we were reminded of by Dr. Tripp, again nothing new but a great reminder, is that the world is upside down. We are moving farther and farther away from God's wonderful plan for us. The world says sex at almost anytime with anyone is fine. God says it is a gift reserved for marriage. The world says you need to do face lifts, tummy tucks and breast enhancements to be beautiful. God says it is your character that makes you beautiful. The world says you have to strive to get all the world has to offer and then you will be happy. God says happiness truly comes from knowing Him. I am not writing this to preach God's ways, although it is true, but to confess that these are some of the things I did not build into my childrens lives when they were young. They know that this is my stand now on these issues but they just think mom and dad are a couple of prudes. All I can do now is go forward and for anyone who wants to know I will tell them these principles.

Am I bummed out about this? No, I am just saddened when I see parents of young children following the same path I did and not using God's guidelines for raising their children. You have to start building into your children's lives from the moment they are born. One of the things Paul Tripp told us is that we are not try to make our children into clones of ourselves because we are also broken. We need to recognize that a lot of what our children do is just a reflection of what we do. We need to stop looking to retain our comfort and look to building Godly character into our children at a very early age. If we use the worlds standards as a guideline for building character into our children then our standards are based on a moving target. Just look at how things have changed in just the last 40 to 50 years. On the other hand, God's standards never change. Personally I am not real good with a moving target.

I know this is not one of my normal kind of newsy sometime funny blogs but I was so impressed with this conference and how God prompted me to go and put everything in place I just had to write it down. For the couple of people who might read this I pray you will take heart and think about some of these things in your own life. Please don't wait until it is to late and then only have regrets as I do. It is never to late to start following God's principles but the sooner we start the better the impact on our lives. I can say from personal experience that when I focus on God there is a peace in my life. The problems don't go away but God helps me through the problems. I admit I fail at this many times, trying to do it on my own and I usually wind up miserable and even depressed. God used this conference as a tool to help me build that relationship with Him. I am truly glad that I went.